Building a Better Understanding
We each have a story to tell, and sharing it is vital to our emotional well-being. Some of us choose to express our stories through art, some through music, and others through dance. I choose to write to capture the maelstrom of emotions that swirl within me when I remember when my thirteen-year-old daughter Elizabeth was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer. I choose to write myself out of my nightmares and into a world of acceptance, hope, and possibilities. Writing gives me these opportunities.
My story may be different than yours because of the specifics of my daughter’s illness, but in terms of a story of love, loss, and learning to live again, it is reflective of the stories of millions who have loved deeply, suffered greatly, and discovered new understandings and even gratitude for the gift of life again.
Now, we are all living in a time of earth-shattering change and are experiencing unsettling and unprecedented times. COVID-19 has affected almost every aspect of our lives and its many uncertainties have jarred us and shaken our thoughts about what our future might look like. And, the Black Lives Matter movement has forced us to look deeper into our belief systems and has given us the opportunity to look at humanity through many different lenses.
Could we have a more compelling time to express our new stories? It’s an opportune time to pick up our pens. We may want to begin by asking ourselves questions like, How are we coping with our current stress?, What are we missing the most?, Do we believe that this time of turmoil will bring about any positive changes? If so, what would they look like? By expressing our stories, we have the opportunity to explore uncharted waters, set a new course, and land in a different destination.
We are the captains of our stories, and how we tell them will affect our psychological outcomes. This is not a concept that I developed but rather is one identified by medical researchers. They refer to it as “narrative identity,” which means the stories we tell about ourselves and the meaning we give to a life after adversity will shape our future well-being. This realization of personal growth and change doesn’t happen in an instant but after reflecting upon how we recorded our life stories during adversity or after trauma.
In this exceptional time, we can write down the high points, the low points, and the turning points. We will be building a foundation upon which we will add more stories telling of our life’s experiences. In time, we will build a better understanding of ourselves.
To learn more about narrative identity, go to www.healthstorycollaborative.com.